out of place.

"There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb..."



I think after all I've been going through and all I've done within this past year, I still don't know where to go. I'm involved with so many things and I'm having a good time...but I still feel so...I feel so...out of place? What I'm trying to say is that though where I'm at is peaceful, calm, manageable and easy, I don't feel like this is what I'm supposed to be doing with the rest of my life. Do you ever get like that? No matter how good things are going, it just isn't good enough? Someone once told me that "if everything in your life is going perfect, then you're doing something wrong." Even if it is "perfect", I don't want perfect. I don't need perfect. Maybe I sound selfish...maybe I'm being ridiculous...but hey, it is what it is. 0_o Dear Jesus, please give me a sign!!!


P.S.

So I love Miley Cyrus for this awesomely written song...sue me. =p

Unrequited Love by Terina Liu

You tell me we're not meant to be
But still my feelings don't change
Cause' though I've been hurt before
I think I'm getting used to this pain
I let myself get too close
I took another dose
Of your love potion dry
I put my heart on the line
I read all of your signs
I guess I didn't read them right

So now I'm stuck
With my heart open
Didn't realize just how broken
You made me feel
I'm a victim of a love that wasn't even real

Unrequited love
Unrequited love
Unrequited love
Unrequited love

So how can I move on
When you're still on my mind
You don't even feel it
I know you don't
This situation can't be right
I thought love was reciprocal
But I gave and you took it away
It fed me hopes and dreams
Things I'd never see
Making plans for us that weren't even guaranteed

How can I
feel this way
When all you do is build me up
And just walk away?

Unrequited love
Unrequited love
Unrequited love
Unrequited love

You're leaving me here
When I want to go there
I want to hear I love you
But you say you don't care
I thought that loving you would take away my pain
Instead giving me the sun
Boy, you're giving me the rain
I don't want to feel for you
If you don't even know
How deep my love really goes
But it's just
It's all just

Unrequited love
Unrequited love
Unrequited love
Unrequited love


COPYRIGHTED. Terina Liu

BEGINNING VOICE CLASS FINAL ASSIGNMENT COMPOSITION

Sacrificing (A Def Poetry imitation)

I don’t want to give my heart to a man

Who doesn’t even see the worth that I am in his hands

Or doesn’t acknowledge the beauty that runs deeper than these lashes

Or respect the fact that my body is my temple

And the pain you bring to it

Be it your words or your fists

Sacrifices my senses of self-pride and self-worth

Catering to his selfish needs and abandoning my own

Just for his approval so that I can stop walking on this broken-promised glass

Priding in the love that I have found

Only to turn to my side and feel the empty air that breezes the loneliness

Cheating my joy into believing that all I need is a male of any kind

But never taking account of the kind that mothers warn us about

The kind that steal from us and give nothing back

That take our love and trample it like a force unseen

Seeking out the weakness in our hearts

Using it to their advantage to take advantage of the too many chances we give

Allowing our strands to come undone

Until we lie naked and ashamed and completely unraveled cold

These lips of mine will not touch those that are hard and broken

Because too many words of hate have escaped those lips

And have broken many hearts and planted the thousands of insecure thoughts placed like ticking time bombs

Setting them off one by one in her own quiet mourning

They have become the root to the crimes and have poisoned the minds

Of women who see themselves as nothing more than an object

An object to be displayed and denied the respect that they deserve

A once strong female of integrity reduced to tears and sleepless nights

Lying in a cell locked up in the corner of her own blemished mind

Waking up screaming, wondering what it was that she did so wrong

To deserve those scars that bleed continuously

I refuse to give my time

To a man who only seeks to waste the precious moments that I cherish

Who wants all the attention and isn’t satisfied with enough

So by his disappointments

He finds another to help pass the time

Hoping to seal his fate as a man with game

But only losing the game by cheating all his pieces

Forcing them into place

Relying on his queen to save him every time he’s in a tough situation

And sacrificing her life when a chance comes along to save himself

What can ever be accomplished if the love you give isn’t reciprocated

If it isn’t adored or admired or even acknowledged at the mere fact

That you’re always there to lick their wounds and ignoring your own

Numbing the pain that seeps to your bone because you’re not selfish

Because love is not selfish

So why am I the one sitting here feeling sorry for myself?

You're so vain...and dumb...and disappointing. >_<

Aaaaahhhhh!!! So I'm completely fed up with just everything. I'm going to keep this blog anonymous because it's something that I can't necessarily vocalize openly without having it turn around and bite me in the a**, so I'm just taking precautions.

Anywhoo, I seriously HATE it when people ignore you for no reason. On the first day, everything is completely fine. You're really cool with each other, having a good time and a few laughs and everything is awesome.

Then all of a sudden, certain feelings get involved and you get shafted by a shady person who can't make up their mind. They treat you like a pariah and avoid any eye contact whatsoever. I'm done dealing with those kinds of people.

I mean, if we're going to be cool with each other, stay cool...don't get all bent out of shape and flake out because you can't handle it. I guess I'm just so disappointed because they turned out to be the person I hoped they weren't. You ever meet people like that? You think they're so great at first, but then reality hits you and they give you a real dose of their REAL side and it disappoints you to where you can't even stand them anymore. I felt so stupid for falling for it again. 

It's not even something to cry about, but maybe just vent. I'm too disappointed to cry. Too frustrated to spend forever soaking in their selfishness and lack of connection. You might as well just lock yourself up in a box and throw away the damn key because I'm pretty sure no one else wants to be with a negative person. Hell, the world is already sad as it is, why add to it? Gosh...what a day I've had. 0_o lol

Senior Citizen Hip Hop Choir

Aaaaahhhhh!!! A little taste of the older generation with the new generation. =)

Tynisha Keli is my writing mentor!!

Okay, I don't literally mean she IS my writing mentor, just that I really love her lyrics and how she writes them so bluntly. It's direct and to the point, but not dry where you won't feel a thing. I just love how she writes everything that I can relate to.

She's straight up R&B/Pop and has a very young and talented voice and if she keeps singing and writing the way she does, there's going to be a Grammy with her name on it in the near future! =)

Check her out on YouTube: www.youtube.com/tynishavideos

Unrequited Love? Serve me up a dose.

"Unrequited love is a total pain in the bum! =( I hate this feeling, I literally do. If I were on a deserted island with a puppy and a writing pad, I think I'd be happier there than I am now. "

-Hehehe...So I totally wrote that introduction a couple days ago but never added to it. lol Now that I've cleared my head and devoted countless playlist hours of sappy love songs and invested in tissue boxes these past few days, I think I'm okay now. I can't say if I'd completely agree with that opening, but behind it lies a little bit of truth. I still despise the feeling, but then again, we all can't live without it. 

I guess what I'm saying is that for some strange reason, it's a part of growing: loving someone who doesn't feel the same sort of teaches you to be strong, to endure the hardships, cherish those who love you already and never take anyone for granted. 

Of course, it seems sort of catch-22ish, but that's the beauty of it. You never know what the outcome is going to be, so you still fall in love anyways. Taking chances for that one guy/girl is what it's all about, right? I mean, who wants to be with someone who only puts in half the effort? Yeah, your heart's going to break a few times, but when you do find that someone and they are THE ONE, they'll put pieces together that you never knew were missing at all, almost like an added bonus. 

So think of all the heartaches and crying and HE/SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME phases you've been through: how much you put into it, how much they took from you, how you promised to never love anyone ever again...

Then, think about that one person that will take all of that, change your life and awaken the most remarkable, the most amazing side of you anyone has ever seen. I look forward to that moment/day/person or whatever you want to call it. I'm not saying it's going to be perfect, but it might put your thoughts and feelings into perspective and possibly free you from your own walls of captivity aka "your dark side". =) lol